







I was 19 when I landed in Istanbul. It wasn't my first time there. I know the place very well. Maybe not VERY well but still. No reason for me to feel this awkwardness, frustration and anxiety. Was it because I lost all of my friends that summer? Or was it because of the new community that I'm in? Full of lies, hypocrisy and deception. Whatever the reason was, it ruined my mentality and I find its effect present in my life up until this moment. In my hotel room on my first night I felt something super heavy on my chest preventing me from breathing. I couldn't sleep. “What's happening to me?” Why I feel so lonely all of a sudden? so I turned on the TV. Nothing to see here, late night talk shows in Turkish, Turkish music, some trash TV, even Hollywood movies were in Turkish! I turned it off. I scratched my head, stood up in front of the big window. Nice view!

I know the story was at night but
that's all I've got so use your imagination please
YAWNING I went out of my room without worrying about changing my cloths. Although it was in the middle of the city, it was't a regular downtown hotel. Rooms are in two buildings facing a beautiful garden by the sea while the lobby was in the middle of that garden, the whole hotel was on a lake. Not enjoying my surrounding, I walked into the lobby, took a seat on one of them comfy sofas. Even though it was a little late, people are flowing in and out of the hotel. I just sat there watching them. Nothing beats that eh? Time went so slow and I was awake and attentive with my eyes opened like an owl.
The more time I spent in the lobby the more sad I became. I hate being alone like this so I went out walking around the hotel and then I found Tekin the tour guide from last time sitting on the hood of his car smoking so I went towards him.
“Hey Raed is that You?”
“You remember me?”
“of course I remember, you owe me two million Leira (about two pounds in that time)”
“Man! You've got to be kidding me. Is that why you still remember me?
Laughing “I'm joking man, what are doing here in Istanbul?”
“What are YOU doing here? This place is supposed to be for tourists like me”.
“I finished college this year and I'm a full time employee in this hotel”
“What do you do here exactly?”
“I'm a concierge”
“really!”
“Yeah really. And guess what, I'm going to get married soon”
“well congrats!”
“Thank you. You still single?”
“What do you mean You still single. It's only a single who wander around a hotel wearing PJs”
“Don't you worry about it. You got time tomorrow?”
“Yes, but For what?”
“A tour downtown. It's going to be fun. You'll never find any guided tour like it because it's not for tourists but only for locals. Just meet me at the lobby at 8 in the morning”
“That's too early”
“Go get some sleep then”
“alright, see you tomorrow”
“see ya”
I went up to my room, laid down on the bed thinking about tomorrow, forgetting all the troubles I left at home. I enjoyed every moment of that tour and went back home a fresh new person ready to start a new life in a new city and a new environment.
Some downtown pictures
























